Wednesday, May 22, 2013

If I Die Tonight...

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Long before I escaped my comfort zone, I have the biggest fear and all I have held in me are the questions "what if" and "why". Then I had grasped that I don't know what else to say anymore... Or do I even have the right to speak up with my own. When I have my worries, do I have to rely myself to anyone? And expect some compassion and empathy? Of course not. Not anymore. I've thought I can still take care of myself especially now that I know God's got my back. I feel invincible. I'm glad that I didn't hold back with what I feel. I'm elated that reception and diversity go hand in hand, and that I easily put up with it. I have learned that love is not just a feeling. It is a divine intervention. It makes you happily surrender and commit to faithfully love and to hold, to be there for one another through ups and downs, highs and lows, good and bad and everything in between. Most of all, it gives you confidence that that person got your back, look beyond imperfections, and inspires you to be better. Yes, I was too selfish in a lot of ways before, I've always prayed in high hopes God would give me THE BEST. But I came to realize that my prayer is is still selfishness. So the prayer transposed... As told by a sister, well expressed and in line with my thoughts, "Lord, make me the best girl worthy to follow." And everyday I pray to be a blessing to others in any way I can. I'm getting to know God each day and building my relationship with Him, I've practiced from the start to take each day as it comes. I don't look into the future with a fervent desire to have anymore. Everything is written, it's His plan, we are just here to prepare ourselves to follow Him. When you feel life is very hard and beyond your strength or control to move forward, it means you're going in the wrong direction and something needs to be changed. It is a phase, one step closer to what needs to be done for your purpose. Just with this thought alone, I wake up everyday grateful, surrendering my life to God... I've set free the nightmares of the past, I'm free from the thoughts of it with peace in my heart. I am happy. 

I guess enough is said there... If I die tonight, I won't mind at all... I feel happy and content knowing that my son is in good hands with God. Bahala na Siya kay AK. I can even translate it into two songs. Hehe! :) Here...for your ears. I really love these. Enjoy!

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