The Wave That Changed My LIfe.

A week after my Iloilo volunteer work, I flew in to Siargao Island... It's been a life-long dream to finally experience Siargao and boy, the weather wasn't inviting at all, our flight almost got cancelled because of a storm. Fortunately, it passed and we flew in just in time. That feeling of being in a new place with so many things to see and explore is just plain priceless. I love the unknown.

When we got there at Matanjak Guesthouse, which is owned by our local friend there Bunsoy Agudo, who I met there at General Luna through my friend, Zirk, we then got greeted by expats here and there, most of them were staying at the guesthouse as well. Upon settling my stuff in the room with Zirk and her friend Netz, who I met for the first time that day (and eventually we grew closer), I was more than excited to see what the rest of the island has to offer. I had complications with my schedule with volunteer work so I was only there for 3 days (Sucks, I know) but those days were packed with awesomeness. The first night was amazing, we were all together because it was Bunsoy's birthday, so I met tons of surfer dudes and dudettes from different parts of the world, went a bit tipsy and drove motorcycles like crazy searching for an open Karaoke spot, and for more beer, it was a bit late.

The next morning around 11am, we didn't waste time, got our asses up and went to the beach so the boat heading to Dako Island could take us to the surf spot. Me and Netz didn't get the chance to eat breakfast and I, who haven't surfed for a long time, was startled when I saw how big the waves are. They told us that the waves are just little and soft. Wow... for them it is, but for me? Hell no. It was nothing like the ones I surfed before. I didn't even know if I could do it! What I love in this surf community is that the people are only here to surf and they are serious about surfing, no one cares about the status of your surfing skills. But really... out in the water, paddling my heart out and pretending not to be scared (but deep inside it scared the shit out of me), I didn't expect that these guys would really leave me alone! ...At the last set, I was at the right place at the right time, I paddled out and then a few paddles more, this local boy passed by me and pushed my board (thank God he did!), so I rode a big wave for a few seconds then BAM! I'm wiped out. While I was redeeming my surf swag (hahaha), here comes another HUGE wave! Ellen, a Canadian dudette who I met the night before screamed "Oh my God!!", made a turtle roll... Then BOOM! I'm wiped out again. Ellen, almost hit me with her board, but we were both okay after being almost out of breath. Honestly, I thought I was going to die that moment. But the adrenaline rush was like no other. I was stoked... The thought of just being in the pristine waters of Siargao excites me, what more if you got a chance to surf a spot? Just one spot and there are loads more...

My surf and wipe out ratio - 2:1 ...nah, maybe I just got lucky. It's really 3:1 hahaha

That wave/s changed my life simply because it is the biggest one I've caught alone and it changed the way I see myself in surfing and surfing itself. It taught me to be brave and to be stronger. It made me do what I thought I couldn't do. I wanted to push myself more that day but I didn't because I was really tired that my muscles were in shock and might stop responding plus no breakfast, it is risky for me. But above all, I was really happy.

On my 2nd night, I just enjoyed the crowd at the acoustic night at Buddhas Surf Resort just beside Matanjak Guesthouse, where we stayed. And the next morning I just went to the famous boardwalk at Cloud 9 with Netz and new found friend, Pierre-Luc, a French Canadian dude. Then when we got back, I said quick goodbyes to the people I met who became friends because they were rushing to get ready and leave for another surf sesh that day. I wished I stayed another day so I could join them. But I know I will have lots of time when I get back there :)

The things I will never forget are the memories we made there. I may not meet again in my entire lifetime these people I've encountered, but I definitely won't forget them... The breakfast, lunch and dinner get-togethers, going to the market looking for a huge Mahi-mahi, the jokes, the life-stories, seeing everyone at the line-up, the crazy drunken moments and most especially the bond I have with them... To actually feel like you belong, like a family. Only difference is, it's united colors :)

I've been doing surf trips since I started surfing (I'm not saying I'm a pro, I am still learning! Haha) and searching for that perfect spot. Question is... Is Siargao the perfect spot? I don't know, but it is the best one yet... I haven't seen it all but I will know when I see it. I'll go through this process... I'll keep you posted! :) 

Oops, sorry, I don't have surf photos because everyone was out surfing... But I grab a few ones from friends' Facebooks :) enjoy...

Ikit - Bunsoy's little sister :)

My friend Zirk haha

Just chillin at the hammock at Matanjak after getting stoked.

 I got a few reef cuts and just noticed when we we're done.

With these peeps, Netz and Pierre-Luc at the 

famous boardwalk at Cloud 9 before I left.

Bunsoy and breakfast haha

Shiny beautiful people :)

Blessings Over Problems.

Feeling a little chillhopjazzamentals here... Feel good song for y'all!

This is one of my favorites. Enjoy :)

Love WIll Take You.... Home.

"Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister." 1 John 4:20-21

Yes... This verse got me today. My life gets meaningful each passing day as the traces of the scars left fades day by day. And I thought life is too short, let us not waste our time. By this moment, we should all create memories worth watching when our life flashbacks before our eyes when we die. It clearly says that we should love one another. There's simply no more room for hate. God gave us our tongues to either bless or hurt another. Now, why would we choose to hurt? I know for sure no one wants to get hurt. God bless those tongues who speak of love and praise to Him.

If God leads you to (whatever you may be thinking), you may never again know a time like the one you're in right now. With God's help and leading, you have the freedom to invest yourself, your time, your resources, your youth and your flexibility in relationships, ministries, and causes that can bear unbelievable fruit.

We all want to go out there... We all want to see more of life and the rest of the world. 

But at some point, we all wanted to go home... Let's go home...

I pray for my uncle fighting for his life right now. Tito Boy, I know I couldn't help in any other  way but all I could offer is my prayers... Kapit lang po, laban po tayo. This is for you.

If I Die Tonight...

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Long before I escaped my comfort zone, I have the biggest fear and all I have held in me are the questions "what if" and "why". Then I had grasped that I don't know what else to say anymore... Or do I even have the right to speak up with my own. When I have my worries, do I have to rely myself to anyone? And expect some compassion and empathy? Of course not. Not anymore. I've thought I can still take care of myself especially now that I know God's got my back. I feel invincible. I'm glad that I didn't hold back with what I feel. I'm elated that reception and diversity go hand in hand, and that I easily put up with it. I have learned that love is not just a feeling. It is a divine intervention. It makes you happily surrender and commit to faithfully love and to hold, to be there for one another through ups and downs, highs and lows, good and bad and everything in between. Most of all, it gives you confidence that that person got your back, look beyond imperfections, and inspires you to be better. Yes, I was too selfish in a lot of ways before, I've always prayed in high hopes God would give me THE BEST. But I came to realize that my prayer is wrong...it is still selfishness. So the prayer transposed... As told by a sister, well expressed and in line with my thoughts, "Lord, make me the best girl worthy to follow." And everyday I pray to be a blessing to others in any way I can. I'm getting to know God each day and building my relationship with Him, I've practiced from the start to take each day as it comes. I don't look into the future with a fervent desire to have anymore. Everything is written, it's His plan, we are just here to prepare ourselves to follow Him. When you feel life is very hard and beyond your strength or control to move forward, it means you're going in the wrong direction and something needs to be changed. It is a phase, one step closer to what needs to be done for your purpose. Just with this thought alone, I wake up everyday grateful, surrendering my life to God... I've set free the nightmares of the past, I'm free from the thoughts of it with peace in my heart. I am happy. 

I guess enough is said there... If I die tonight, I won't mind at all... I feel happy and content knowing that my son is in good hands with God. Bahala na Siya kay AK. I can even translate it into two songs. Hehe! :) Here...for your ears. I really love these. Enjoy!

Sketches Of Pain

I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"It can open your eyes, but it can’t see for you..."

It's weird how you learn new things these days. Less is more... Next time I have something heavy battling in my mind, I don't need to share. I think it's for Him and mine to keep. Always.

It is quite easy to get approval if we ask enough people, or if we ask those who are likely to tell us what we want to hear. Do not seek praise, seek criticism. It's the only way you'll learn, grow and better of yourself.

But you know you are my best other half and also my best critic... Yes, you...my other half. The reason I’m exposing this is anxiety. If I don’t express it, my soul will just die in me. You got a part of me for all my brutal honesty. It bothers me to see us drifting, so I had to tell you something uplifting. The night’s getting darker, the day’s getting brighter. Reminiscing on the times when we were much tighter. Love supersedes you, everything I need. Together we achieve, hold my hand if you believe.

Something Made Different.

Circumstances has turned drastically. Fortunately, the year has been good to me as this will be my first blog entry for 2013. A lot has changed as my life continues to take its natural course to self-improvement, success and growth. I think this year has my name written all over it. It's about the death of the outworn aspect of myself and my life, while the sunrise of rebirth is always waiting in the horizon. Add to this fact that my ruler, is in what is known "mutual reception" with the swapping signs and the force for rebuilding my life from its very foundation is doubled. Death and rebirth become daily themes as I shed layers upon layers of the former me. Wonderful isn't it? The speed at which my life is moving, evolving and changing is unprecedented. What can I only do is simply trust that to whatever I'm putting my passionate energy into this year will indeed build out to something lasting and beautiful. I could feel that this could easily be one of the most exhilarating and spiritual years in a long time (emphasis on the spiritual hehe). I will definitely appreciate the support for my quest for deep change and self-awareness. I will delve into my own secret depths and discover how powerful I really am. I will heal others by showing them that it's safe to confront their own darkness as I have done. Now I finally understood it perfectly... The real definition of change; the means of actually doing and applying it into your life rather than just always thinking about it. I finally fathomed what it means to be truly embracing change.  But of course, for everything I had, have and will have, I'm still trying to figure it out how to make it through this life, because If i did, I'm good as dead. I'm grateful to be a part of life's pleasing processes. Considering this some greatest realization. Word. 

Coachella 2012

Hell yeah, it's about time! Ending 2011 with a gig yet ahead. This line-up is not 100% sure though because this was just leaked; not yet official but most probably most of them are gonna be there. April is the month we all can't wait for... Get ready for this:

Malasimbo Festival.

Pakiramdam ko noong naririto ako, may general assembly ang iba't ibang tao at pokemon sa loob ng ulo ko. At may riot ang mga prinsipyong napulot ko noong nagdaang dekada; dahil narin siguro sa mga taong nakausap ko, nakabatuhan ko ng pananaw. Sabagay, kaya nga pala ako nagpunta dito ay para kahit papano ay mabuo ko ng bahagya ang sira kong sarili at ulo. Oo, parte narin nun ay sirain ko rin muli ang aking pagiisip...wasak. Lahat yan nangyayari satin habang pinipilit nating maging mas matinong tao ngayon kaysa kahapon. Ngayon, masasabi ko sa sarili ko na masaya ako dahil ito ang pinili kong buhay at hindi ako nagsisisi sa mga katarantaduhan ko, o kahit na nawala ako sa hulog at lumipad ako... Pero alam ko ang kahusayan ng pagkakataon at masaya ako dahil alam kong malinaw ang isipan ko, damang dama ko, kahit basa at malamig ang utak ko. Maraming salamat kalikasan, nagbalik-loob na ako sayo.

Transition.

I'm losing it... I don't know but, you know times like these, what will be will be. Even though you are in control, sometimes you just can't stand the fact that you are losing it. Losing what? The passion? What you really are? Well, in my case, the things that define me. Change is coming and I can feel it; with a dash of what I dreamt of becoming in the past rushing in now...unfolding its page one by one. I honestly do not know if I should be happy, because I don't know what "will" or what "is" making me happy now. A vampire once told me that, "Do not forget the present, it is all that matters. And don't forget to eat breakfast." - True enough that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and the best way to start your day, even if you wake up at the wrong side of the bed. Oh well, just a random thought. I know... This is a sign of being lost. And I'm on my way to finding myself once again! I will find you one day, I will find you.